Listen up baby because I'm only sting this while my feet are stuck on the ground. In a minute I'll be flying thousands of feet above the clouds and you can't crash me down. Because whatever I'm smoking is stronger than your voice or it's sound. So I'm gonnna fly away baby and maybe I'll see you around.

Happy Birthday

Its your birthday.. haha. I feel like such a dork right now but I'll write about you for the third time, on my blog that nobody reads. Why? Because I'm a complete and total dork. Well congratualations seventeen! Drivers test later! And aren't I cute for my little secret seven-year-old-girl crush?! Of course I am. I called you at midnight you woke up, stayed up for a good 20 minutes due to excitement which made you not want to sleep and you just went back to sleep. Wow am I a child.

Well I guess thats it, I'm happy you said that I make you feel happy. And I'm also happy you're having a good birthday so far.. hahaha

You're not going to read this, thank god. Otherwise that'd be fucking awkward ya know? You're birthdate put me in such a better mood then I was in, and I'm looking forward to the picture of Dunkin. Ohkay time to stop being immature.

I'm back.

My friends, my life.

I told you I didn't want to commit or be in a relationship. I was almost changing my mind right until you said that. My friends aren't people you " don't mind" they should be people you fucking respect. You said they were "a little out there" sorry I only like people who aren't afraid to be themselves, and at least I love my friend unlike you who "hates his friends because they're assholes." and even before I could defend them you come out with assuming their dumb? Well if you look at their gpa's grades might be higher then yours, and guess what! They did it without some nice private school. My friends might be weird but you said you liked my individuality. I'd chose my "weird" friends over your private schooled conformist assholes any day.

Have fun with your hand and pictures of your exgirlfriend.
Holy fuck am I angry.

Face it

I could be your everything but only if you'd let me be. Let me in and you shall find I'm the girl you've had your mind.

I'm afraid to be real

This skin I've grown in I've marked up myself. I have done damage to it's wealth what you break you must by so this skin I will own. It's a lot easier to pretend once you've made this skin your home.

I'm suffocating here

Today people around me were talking a lot about blogging and I remembered why I created blogs. I created them to escape yet, slowly I've turned my other two basically into nothing more then quotes a fun pictures most find amazing to read. My intention was to make a world for myself. Away from not only my problems but an escape to help me deal with the pressure put upon me whenever my friends problems become to big and I'm asked to step in.
It has been 94 days since the last time I've let that person take me over. 94 days since I've given in. But it's been about 26 hours since the last time I almost gave in. And almost less then 5 hours since I've wanted to do it. I tried to seal myself into my writing which has suffered greatly since the hault to my addiction. I'm left with nothing more but graded essays and ideas which have all be done before. I feel as if I can mo longer condider myself a writer, or once I reach that hundreth day whether I can consider myself the same person.


I've been searching for answers but to what extent? Love is just an abstract that will ruin my day and pain but just a sense I use to take the fear away.